I could not imagine ever hearing a doctor tell me “It’s cancer.” However, on June 17, 2007, I received my diagnosis – triple negative breast cancer.
My initial reaction of shock, fear, and a bit of fury only increased as I researched the statistics for African American women under the age of 40 diagnosed with this type of cancer. They were dismal. Why bother with the rigors of chemotherapy and the stress of accruing a significant medical debt when it all seemed so futile?
That evening, as I slept away my heavy spirit, God reassured me that everything was under control and reminded me of His promise to me in Psalm 118:17: “I will not die, but live, and tell of the works of the Lord.” My circumstances were being used to accomplish His purposes.
The next morning, the Holy Spirit guided me and my mother to Psalm 145:8. “The Lord is gracious and merciful; slow to anger and great in loving-kindness.” This was a pivotal moment in which my spiritual eyes were opened and I could see God’s hand on my life. The heaviness was lifted as I submitted completely to the Lord. I could not trust anyone with my life – not parents, family, friends, church, or even the doctors at M.D. Anderson. I could only trust God. The Holy Spirit reminded me of the security I had in Jesus Christ with Romans 8:35, “but in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.” I felt God’s love enveloping me like a cocoon.
It took two weeks to get an accurate staging of the cancer, but when subsequent tissue samples were tested, the diagnosis changed from triple negative to 40% estrogen receptor positive, a cancer with a much better prognosis.
Initially, the doctor prescribed six months of chemotherapy, and I knew I could rely on God to physically get me through the sessions. However, I was then faced with another challenge: under-insurance and insufficient funds to pay the estimated $70,000 for the treatment. The administration encouraged me to withdraw from M.D. Anderson and go to a Harris County Hospital due to costs, but I knew that being admitted to M.D. Anderson within a week of diagnosis was by the grace of God, and I was going to trust Him to keep me there. Through miraculous circumstances, God provided financial assistance, and within two weeks, I had my first chemotherapy treatment at M.D. Anderson.
Even more miraculous is that my oncologist examined me prior to the first treatment and was amazed that the tumor had begun shrinking as if I had already received chemotherapy.
Through the six months of treatment, the Lord continued to provide for me financially by protecting me from infection so I had no need for shots which can cost up to $7,000 per injection. He also kept me from fatigue and nausea, which was a good thing because I could only afford a $30 low potency anti-nausea prescription.
Over time, it became clear that He had been laying the groundwork for His miraculous financial provisions even before I was diagnosed. Several months before my initial diagnosis, my mother, grandmother and I had participated in a commercial for Dannon Activia yogurt. At the time, I simply thought this would be a great experience for our family, but I never considered the commercial would make the highly competitive national television market. Once again, God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts greater than our thoughts. The commercial aired on national television in July 2007, and since the shoot was a union project, our earnings from the commercial royalties made us all eligible for Screen Actors Guild health care benefits.
Just before Christmas, I received a health care packet in the mail explaining that if I made my first low-cost premium payment by the deadline, I would be eligible for full health care benefits effective January 1, 2008 and there was no pre-existing condition clause. God is an on-time God!
This unexpected insurance allowed me to receive 100% coverage for a genetic test, (and praise God, I am genetically negative for the cancer gene!), and allowed me to have a mastectomy following the chemotherapy that was covered at 100% less hospital and physician deductibles.
Through this whole time, although I was faced with the stresses of cancer treatment and under-insurance, I felt God’s perfect peace and inexpressible joy. As I submitted totally to God’s sovereign will, I knew that whether or not I survived physically, I was victorious in Jesus Christ and if absent from the body I would be present in Glory with Him. I wanted to live, but I understood that my faith was being tested and it was important to respond in a way that would glorify God, strengthen others in the faith, and draw the lost to Jesus Christ.
From the beginning, as I informed those around me of the cancer diagnosis and under-insurance, God placed many in my life to minister to me. I contacted Sagemont’s Prayer Force ministry, AdventureLand staff, and my iCONNECT class to solicit prayer and received an outpouring of love and concern through e-mails and cards to hugs and encouragement. I am grateful for Brother Rex Forsyth who prayed with me and my mother while I was in the hospital recovering from surgery. The Precept iConnect class, Pink Armor iCONNECT class, and my friends in the 9:30 blended service have continued to minister to me. And I am also thankful for Brother Buddy Griffin for visiting me at the hospital and allowing the Holy Spirit to use him to minister to my dad, who is not yet saved.
When giving an update to someone from church, whether it was a pastor, deacon, teacher, or member, they first asked about my unsaved loved one, and then they would ask how I was doing. It is so comforting to experience fellow believers being in one accord this way.
For many years, the burden for my dad’s salvation has been very heavy. I remember calling out to God to save my dad, whatever the cost. Although he is not yet saved, I am confident that it will happen because God does not desire for anyone to perish but everyone to come to the saving grace of His Son Jesus Christ. I am also comforted knowing my church family and other Christian friends are praying with Mom and me for my dad’s salvation.
I can see the effects of these prayers on my family and those in my social network who are unsaved. They are more sensitive and receptive toward expressions and discussions of faith in Jesus Christ. This experience has opened doors for ministering to Christians and witnessing to non-Christians. I feel truly blessed to be able to share with others what God is doing through me and around me, and I pray I remain sensitive to the work the Holy Spirit is performing and continually align my thoughts and actions to God’s purpose.
Because of my experience with breast cancer, I also discovered The Rose, a non-profit breast cancer organization in Houston that provides mammography screening, diagnosis, early access to treatment and support to all women regardless of their ability to pay. And through The Rose, I connected with some courageous, caring, authentic, and fun-loving women in their breast cancer support groups.
I also was introduced to Dragon Boat Racing, a 4,000 year old Chinese sport involving a wooden canoe style boat and 20 paddlers, one drummer, and a steersperson. I joined the Pink Phurree breast cancer survivor and Houston Heat teams which has helped me build strength and endurance as a cancer patient.
By God’s grace, I remained active throughout my chemotherapy treatments, teaching indoor cycling and aqua exercise classes at local gyms, working part-time as a software instructor, even competing in a dragon boat race, completing a 47-mile bike ride, and participating in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure three-mile walk. I felt that God gave me such strength to be a walking bulletin board proclaiming His great power and boundless love.
When observers commented that I did not look like a cancer patient (except for the bald head), I gave the credit to the Lord. The joy and love of the Lord has been my strength and I have the privilege of spreading that joy and love to other cancer patients and individuals facing challenges in life.
Following my mastectomy, there was no evidence of cancer cells in the breast tissue or 13 lymph nodes extracted; in addition my PET scan was also clear of cancer. I am 100% in remission and give all honor and glory to my Lord and savior Jesus Christ. I had follow-up scans in August in preparation for nine months of reconstruction procedures at the end of 2008 or first of 2009.
Breast cancer is a severe disease; it attacks your body from the inside out. Not only does it steal a woman’s health, it tries to steal her womanhood and all aspects of physical beauty – hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes fall out, breasts are removed, ghastly scars are created, the ability to reproduce is compromised, nails can turn black and some fall off. She begins to wear pink to reclaim her femininity and show her empowerment in spite of the disease. The aftermath can be emotionally, mentally, and psychologically crippling for any woman, young or old, married or single.
If it were not for God’s grace, as a woman who has never been married or conceived children, I could easily get depressed about the devastation of breast cancer. But through it all I have received many more blessings than burdens in this experience. God’s hand has orchestrated every step in the journey. I am “confident that the work that God has begun in [me] will be completed in the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). I wait expectantly on the Lord to guide me through this journey and pray to glorify Him in my response along the way. I know as I continue life’s journey, there will be even more challenges that will continue to mold me into Christ’s image until I reach the ultimate goal of Christian perfection in eternity with my Lord. Until then, I will continue to reflect the love of Christ and proclaim all of God’s great and mighty works.