For over 25 years the enemy had been in hot pursuit using whatever weapons his arsenal held in an all out war for the soul of a young man named Carl Miller. However, in 2008, God’s unfailing faithfulness won a decisive victory when, alone in a prison cell Carl finally, completely, surrendered to Him.
“It had taken about a month for me to come down off the meth I had been shooting everyday since my last stint in jail three years earlier,” Carl said. “I was turning 40 and I said, “God, if you’ll just take this addiction from me then I’ll follow you; I’ll serve you.” In the middle of that prayer, God touched Carl’s heart. “Carl, I went to Calvary for you,” the Lord said.
Though he hadn’t been in church in 24 years outside of prison, stories from childhood came back to Carl. He saw Jesus beaten beyond recognition, paraded through the streets bare as people kicked Him, spit on Him, and jeered at Him. “He willingly did that!” Carl said. “No man would willingly, knowingly let those things happen. I understood then He must truly be the Son of God. And somehow I knew He had done those things and gone through all of that for me, because He loved me.”
Carl was broken, overcome by the incredible realization of the love God had for him even now as a middle-aged man who lay in a prison cell feeling very unlovable. “At that moment I cried out and said, ‘Lord, I am so sorry, please forgive me. You don’t have to do another thing for me. Thank You for what You have done for me. What can I do for You?” The answer to that question would soon come.
When Carl was released from the Texas Department of Corrections, he boarded a bus heading toward freedom and, immediately, the enemy renewed the battle in his mind. “Do you really think you’re going to stay sober?” he spoke, “Do you really think you’re going to be able to do that for the rest of your life?” For someone who, since the age of 13, had achieved sobriety only in a prison cell, it was a life-threatening attack. In retaliation, Carl cried out to the Lord to give him the strength and guidance he needed. In a still small voice God told him, ‘Write your story’. “Instantly it took my mind off the enemy and what he was trying to do,” Carl said.
On the ride home God began to reveal to Carl what his book was to be about. He even gave him the title: The Relentless Pursuit of a Soul. As a convicted felon, job opportunities were few for Carl, but the task of following God’s instructions kept him focused. “Everyday before I’d write, I’d ask the Lord to give me the words to bring honor to Him. And in doing that, so many revelations and truths came out that sometimes I’d just break down and cry,” he said. Since the only typing skills Carl possessed were of the hunt-and-peck variety, the challenge of writing a book was almost overwhelming. “It was a laborious, but necessary, task,” Carl said. “If I wrote a thousand words a day, it was something!”
Carl’s story began in Marshall, Texas. Both his parents were devoted Christians and his father served in the ministry as a traveling evangelist until Carl was about five. Two years later the family was split apart when his parents divorced. “My brother and I went on a moving spree with my mother,” he said. “But no matter what town we lived in, we found a Baptist church and on Sundays we were there.” Entering the teen years without the positive affirmation of a loving father created challenges that Carl was not prepared to overcome. He would talk to his dad and perhaps see him once a month, but there was not a consistent relationship.
Like so many teenagers, he was plagued by many insecurities. “I didn’t really understand what was going on except that I felt like I didn’t quite measure up to what I thought I should be,” Carl said. At the age of 13, he discovered alcohol and from the moment he took his first sip he decided it gave him the confidence he lacked. “I just wanted more of it, so I drank as often as I could,” Carl said. That addiction led to marijuana use by the time he was 14. At 18 he was introduced to methamphetamines.
Carl had a fear of needles and always refused to “shoot up” drugs, but one night, drunk and high on marijuana, he was persuaded to give meth a try. The euphoric sense of well-being produced by the chemicals coursing through his veins made him feel like he could do everything better, faster. He chose to believe the lie that drugs could make him into the confident, charismatic man he longed to be and for years, Satan used this lie to keep Carl in bondage.
“Everything seems like it’s great at first,” Carl said, “but when users come down from the high, they go into a depression so all they think about is getting more. Before long, there is a physical addiction and withdrawal symptoms appear if they don’t get the drugs on a daily basis.”
Within a month of starting to use meth, Carl robbed his high school, breaking into a vault and stealing money to finance his new habit. He avoided going to prison but was ordered to spend time in a lock-down residential treatment center where he graduated from high school. “I was convinced I didn’t have a problem; my situation was due to the drugs or because someone had ratted me out. In my mind, the fact that I was shooting up dope at 18 wasn’t a problem!”
During 22 years of drug addiction, Carl was arrested 13 times, nine of which resulted in felony charges with four convictions. He was in two residential treatment facilities and served time in prison twice. Three times he tried to commit suicide. Hundreds of thousands of dollars were spent on his legal fees, but Carl’s mother never gave up on him. Her letters were filled with the words of Scripture and with each arrest, she came pleading for him to seek the Lord. Angry with God, Carl’s reply was, “Mom, I don’t understand what you’re talking about, maybe He needs to find me!”
Every time he was incarcerated, Carl would vow never to use drugs again but the reality of being sober was too painful. Within a month of his release he would be using again. “I finally just considered it my fate and accepted that I’d always be a drug addict. I bought into the lie that I had some weird disease that nobody could explain,” Carl said. “But in reality I didn’t have a disease; I had a sin problem. Plain and simple!”
It has been fewer than two years since Carl cried out to God for forgiveness but the transformation has been miraculous. He still begins each day with the simple prayer that began his new life while still confined to a prison cell. “Because I have the Holy Spirit in me now, drugs and alcohol no longer appeal to me. It is only Christ that gives true peace, true joy. That’s freedom!” Carl said.
When he was released from prison just over a year ago, Carl quickly began to look for a church. Sagemont was the second church he visited. “I had this impression that a lot of people went to church just to be seen there, to fit into society. To see that it wasn’t true was a revelation. As I sat in the back, I was looking around at all the people and it seemed they were genuinely glad to be there. Then when the music began and we sang ‘Worthy is the Lamb’ tears rolled down my cheeks; it was so moving. I’ve been every Sunday since then.”
Carl and his wife, Charli, have been together for over ten years. “She has been with me through some really tough times,” he said. “She stayed strong and she remained faithful.” They have two children, a ten year-old daughter and a one-year old son. In August of 2010 Carl, Charli, and their daughter were all baptized together at Sagemont.
“I praise God I found Sagemont, the Men’s Ministry, and Buddy Griffin. It doesn’t matter if you come from a background like mine of drug addiction and alcoholism. Whatever our backgrounds, we all need to be accountable to other people. And we need to be pushing forward, running the race, seeking God’s will for us and getting out there and finding people and saying, ‘Let me tell you about this Jesus I know.’”
That desire is the inspiration for the book God directed Carl to write. “It’s the story of how I became a drug addict, but, more importantly, it’s about how I became free and am staying free.” The Relentless Pursuit of a Soul is a novel that describes the battles in the spirit world for the souls of men and women. The storyline is taken from Ephesians 6:12: “our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” (NAS)
“As I started believing the truths of Christ, 1 Peter 5:8 and Ephesians 6:12 made sense to me,” Carl said. “I wondered, what if some evil demon has been plaguing me all these years?” In his book the central character is pursued by demons, but he is also pursued and protected by two angels.
Planned for summer release, The Relentless Pursuit of a Soul will probably be Carl’s one and only novel. “I don’t have a passion for writing,” he said. “This book was truly inspired by God.” Carl has a passion for helping others find hope and faith in Jesus Christ. One day he plans to be involved in prison ministry but must wait until two years after his release. For now, he’s mentoring a young man much like himself twenty years ago, speaking at churches, and enjoying his family. When he fulfilled his assignment to write the book, God provided Carl with full-time employment, something he didn’t believe would be possible, considering his background.
“God has truly blessed me,” Carl said. “It just baffles me, though I know it shouldn’t. To see the truths of the scriptures evident in my life is incredible. There are times when I’m holding my son and I realize my children will have all the opportunities I had to know the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior, and I’ll be there as a functioning father. It means so much to me.”